Can the Internet Answer Wildchild's "Wonder Years" Questions?

Alternate title: Dork + Google + Hip-Hop = ?

Can Internet answer Wildchild? I believe it can:

Answers Version (1 of 2)

[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Now when I mighta stayed from around the way]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[I just wish I knew]

Wildchild, check it.
I wish I knew if I woulda had a chance with Halle Berry at elementary
If this world we know was developed the way it was meant to be
A way to rid our street of corrupt cops up in Los Angeles
All female sexual thoughts perpetrated not scandalous
And why females are so overly sensitive
Why to this day a belt is a father's only form of discipline
Why major labels and artists rarely be seein' eye to eye
Why you never say your things to your loved ones before they die
But when they do, I wish I knew spiritually, if they still with you [iTunes]
Why you never stop drinking before the last drink hits you
Why is it okay to drink but marijuana's still illegal?
Though I don't smoke, I wish how to change it for my people.
How to read racist thoughts even before they get spoken
Which slot machine will hit the jackpot usin' my last token
[I just wish I knew]
You never know, right? The Wonder Years.

[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Now when I mighta stayed from around the way]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[I just wish I knew]

Uh, yeah.
I wish I knew the cure for the diseases and next week's lotto numbers
Terrorist acts before they planned and who they planned them under
How to prevent and conquer death.
I wish I knew if my family would be beside me when I be takin' my last breath
I know Mother Nature and rapists, two different death traps
I wish I knew the mindset of both, to catch 'em up in the act
And if there was someone else in the word who looks and acts just like me
A way to cop me a pair of Michael Jordan reissue Nikes
A way to end world sufferin'
Why interracial relationships are the key and most be hesitatin' to show love to them
If time travel's possible
How to return love back to my wife [iTunes], who's been there through every good and bad obstacle
And why people live with so much hate [iTunes]
Every good and bad secret about a girl on the first blind date
Yeah.

[I just wish I knew]
You never know, uh?
[Goin' way back]

I wish I knew why men lust for strip clubs
Why white labels exist and if your music ain't Outkast, you already know got dubs
Why females need so much attention and ill affection [iTunes]
If there was a scandal in the Bush presidential election
If UFOs really exist
When I'm at work, who will say the wrong thing next to me, get me pissed catch a fist?
If street beggars you know be frontin' and really got money
How to take MCs I hear been fakin' and then use 'em as crash dummies
How to film it and release it on a commercial
Take the place of programmers and play hip hop that's universal
No mainstream and underground records sales to control
So you won't know what's gonna be next, only music with soul
If my daughter will use the true path that God has laid
The key to success so all of my people can get paid.
[I just wish I knew]
You never know, uh. The Wonder Years.

[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Now when I mighta stayed from around the way]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[I just wish I knew]
You never know, uh? The Wonder Years






Or you can see for yourself:

Questions Version (2 of 2)

[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Now when I mighta stayed from around the way]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[I just wish I knew]

Wildchild, check it.
I wish I knew if I had woulda a chance with Halle Berry at elementary
If this world we know was developed the way it was meant to be
A way to rid our street of corrupt cops up in Los Angeles
All female sexual thoughts perpetrated not scandalous
And why females are so overly sensitive
Why to this day a belt is a father's only form of discipline
Why major labels and artists rarely be seein' eye to eye
Why you never say your things to your loved ones before they die
But when they do, I wish I knew spiritually, if they still with you
Why you never stop drinking before the last drink hits you
Why is it okay to drink but marijuana's still illegal?
Though I don't smoke, I wish how to change it for my people.
How to read racist thoughts even before they get spoken
Which slot machine will hit the jackpot usin' my last token
[I just wish I knew]
You never know, right? The Wonder Years.

[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Now when I mighta stayed from around the way]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[I just wish I knew]

Uh. Yeah.
I wish I knew the cure for the diseases and next week's lotto numbers
Terrorist acts before they planned and who they planned them under
How to prevent and conquer death.
I wish I knew if my family would be beside me when I be takin' my last breath
I know Mother Nature and rapists, two different death traps
I wish I knew the mindset of both, to catch 'em up in the act
And if there was someone else in the word who looks and acts just like me
A way to cop me a pair of Michael Jordan reissue Nikes
A way to end world sufferin'
Why interracial relationships are the key and most be hesitatin' to show love to them
If time travel's possible
How to return love back to my wife, who's been there through every good and bad obstacle
And why people live with so much hate
Every good and bad secret about a girl on the first blind date
Yeah.

[I just wish I knew]
You never know, uh?
[Goin' way back]

I wish I knew why men lust for strip clubs
Why white labels exist and if your music ain't Outkast, you already know got dubs (?)
Why females need so much attention and ill affection
If there was a scandal in the Bush presidential election
If UFOs really exist
When I'm at work, who will say the wrong thing next to me, get me pissed, catch a fist?
If street beggars you know be frontin' and really got money
How to take MCs I hear been fakin' and then use 'em as crash dummies
How to film it and release it on a commercial
Take the place of programmers and play hip hop that's universal
No mainstream and underground record sales to control
So you won't know what's gonna be next, only music with soul
If my daughter will use the true path that God has laid
The key to success so all of my people can get paid.
[I just wish I knew]
You never know, uh. The Wonder Years.

[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Now when I mighta stayed from around the way]
[Goin' way, way back to the early days]
[Rememberin' well, seems like the other day]
[I just wish I knew]
You never know, uh? The Wonder Years

Fall Is Not a Time for Dan Brown

Fall reading spotted on the Brooklyn-bound F train: Meditations of Mind and Body, The Complete Dramatic Works of Samuel Beckett, Introduction to Scholastic Process. (I myself am listening to a Yale Intro. Psychology courses courtesy iTunes U.) Conclusion: Fall is when our brains go back to school (if not necessarily our bodies.)

Q and W

Some shockingly typical Questions I have seriously considered just in the last 12 hours, and the reasons Why I'm Asking them (it's a Q & W).

Q: Can the past truly be said to exist if it no longer exists in the present?

W: Hearing this iTunes U lecture, in which a charmingly-accented biographer, Richard Carwardine, reminds us that Abraham Lincoln is the most biographied man to ever live. Then wondering if anyone can really be said to be right about Lincoln.

Q: What happens if the villain succeeds in Act 1?

W: Re-reading Mell's strangely gratifying first attempt at world domination in Narbonic: Director's Cut. (*spoiler:* Mell does okay, but later admits that she made some crucial mistakes.)

If the villain fails in Act 3, that's normal. If he succeeds, that's a tragedy. Plenty of villains are foiled in Act 1 only to make a better go of it in Act 3. But what if the villain succeeds in Act 1, and so thoroughly that there's no hope of beating him back?

Thing is, in the real world, villains succeed all the time. Stalin died sleeping in his own bed. People like Alexander the Great even occasionally conquer the world.

However, unless someone is particularly bad off or goes about seeking out people who are, we don't usually think of this as a world created by villains. We tend to accept the world as it is presented to us early on.

Maybe that's because the run of history is where a traditional story act structure breaks down. It's like Malcolm says in Jurassic Park (page 369 of the paperback, or you can search for "destroy the world") - we may be in peril, but "the world" is not. Maybe it's not about good or evil, only change.

Maybe I should change my blog's motto to "making the case for relativism." Or is that too subjective?

ribbles on Taliban on Nobel Committee on Obama

The Taliban is apparently immune to both aerial bombardment and irony:

"The Nobel prize for peace? Obama should have won the 'Nobel Prize for escalating violence and killing civilians'," Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid told Reuters by telephone from an undisclosed location.

(via Reuters)