Mission Impossible II inspired this little gem. All in all, over 300 hours of my life that I will never get back.
Last updated 10/21/07
2 Days in the Valley
A.I. Artificial Intelligence
American History X
Anger Management
Antz
Arsenic and Old Lace
Austin Powers: Goldmember
Bad Boys
Bamboozled
Barb Wire
Batman Forever
Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000
Beverly Hills Cop III
The Big Chill
Big Fish
Bio-Dome
The Birds
Black Sheep
Blade
Blade II
Blow
Blues Brothers 2000
Bowfinger
Breaking Up
Broken Arrow
Bringing Down the House
But I'm a Cheerleader
Cabin Boy
Chelsea Walls
Chocolat
City of Angels
The Cooler
Cop and a Half
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
D2: The Mighty Ducks
Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Daredevil
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Days of Thunder
De-Lovely
Death Becomes Her
Deep Impact
Desperately Seeking Susan
Die Another Day
Dirty Dancing
Dirty Harry
The Distinguished Gentleman
Down to Earth
Dr. Dolittle 2
Duplex
Enemy of the State
Entrapment
Existenz
Eyes Wide Shut
Finding Forrester
The Firm
First Knight
Forget Paris
From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money
From Here to Eternity
Galaxy Quest
The General's Daughter
Gods and Monsters
The Golden Child
Gone in 60 Second
Gone With the Wind
Yeah, that's right - Gone With the Wind
Gothika
Grumpier Old Men
Heavy Weights
Highlander
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Hollywood Ending
House of 1,000 Corpses
Independence Day
Intolerable Cruelty
Johnny Mnemonic
Jury Duty
Just Cause
King Ralph
Kingpin
A Knight's Tale
L'Auberge Espagnole
The Ladykillers (2004)
Lawnmower Man
Legally Blonde
Legend
Lethal Weapon
The Librarian
Lord of War
Lost in Space
Love Potion No. 9
Lucky Number Slevin
Mafia!
Major League
Man on Fire
The Man Who Wasn't There
The Mask of Zorro
The Matrix Revolutions
Meet Joe Black
Mission: Impossible
Mission: Impossible II
Muppets From Space
Music From Another Room
Mystery Men
Natural Born Killers
The Negotiator
The Net
Network
Never Been Kissed
Ocean's Twelve
The Odd Couple (1968)
An Officer and a Gentleman
Old School
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Patch Adams
The Phantom Menace
The Pillow Book
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Plan Nine From Outer Space
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Platoon
Play It Again, Sam
Point of No Return
Poison Ivy
Popeye
The Postman
Predator
Practical Magic
The Quick and the Dead
Quills
Radio
Real Women Have Curves
The Road to Perdition
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Roger & Me
Roll Bounce
Route 666
The Rugrats Movie
Runaway Bride
Runaway Jury
The Running Man
Saw
Seabiscuit
Serendipity
Serial Mom
Shane
Silent Movie
Sixteen Candles
The Sixth Sense
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Sling Blade
Small Time Crooks
Something's Gotta Give
The Sound of Music
Spanglish
Spice Girls
Spy Games
Spy Kids
Starman
Summer of Sam
The Sure Thing
Syriana
Talladega Nights
The Terminal
Thank You for Smoking
There's Something About Mary
The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
Three Kings
Tommy Boy
Top Gun
Total Recall
Traffic
True Romance
Two Weeks Notice
Velvet Goldmine
A Very Brady Sequel
The Virgin Suicides
Waterworld
What About Bob?
Where the Buffalo Roam
While You Were Sleeping
Wild Things
Wild Wild West
The World is Not Enough
X-Men
X-Men II
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8 comments:
“Bringing Down The House??” Oh Gazone! In the midst of 11th grade awkwardness, my prom date dragged me, my dateless friend and approximate 800 cackling 17 year old girl-friends to see that catastrophically racialist mess. To this day I vow never to date such a heartless women, ever.
And A.I. OH GODD! The part where you think its over and it goes … 2000 years later!?> Aaaaag.
Yeah, and that Rugrats flick too. Damn that movie—and “Take me there” too. Since when is it OK for rappers to release theme songs for the Rugrats
You forgot “Analyze That.”
I totally agree with you (or at least could be convinced to agree with you a little) on most of these movies. I even agree with you on Gone with the Wind.
But American History X??
L'Auberge Espagnole?
Chocolat?
Once Upon a Time in Mexico?
Thank You for Smoking?
I haven't seen Big Fish, but something tells me I'd have an issue with that one being included in your list too.
However, as gloriously horrible as it is, I'm pleased you've seen Plan 9 from Outer Space.
But I still can't believe you even saw Muppets from Space. Wow. No argument there.
I'm impressed you saw all of these.
But mostly I'm disappointed to see Young Frankenstein on the list. Now we can never be friends.
Drew - A.I. had, like, 10 different false endings. I actually own the Rugrats soundtrack, although I cannot tell you why. I never watched Analyze That because I saw Analyze This and I have a sense of self-preservation (many other sequels are missing from this list for the same reason).
Dan - Allow me to explain:
American History X had too many flashbacks and exposition: I just never got in to the reality of the movie. It was too much like "yes, this guy is a rascist jerk. But, wait! Look at this one telling and formulative scene from his childhood!" It was overly constructed. There is, however, nothing quite as gruesome as the curbing scene.
L'Auberge Espagnole was like an advert for ERASMUS program. I never had any sympathy for the whiny, stuck-up French kid with the stupid girlfriend. They could have retitled it "What Douches Do On Their Summer Vacations."
The villain was too overblown in Chocolat. It was predictable and boring. All those decadent colors. There are plenty of better food movies out there.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico was high-pitched and annoying. It was ridiculous but not in a funny way - like when Brad Pitt's buddy gets killed because the guys down the street are shooting their guns in the air.
Thank You for Smoking was not funny. Maybe it was timing, probably just that the writing wasn't strong enough to make me believe characters' actions.
Big Fish was another of those movies that was trying too hard. Story within a story movies have been done better.
Plan 9 I watched on principal.
Here's the problem with the Muppets.
Jay - You know, sometimes Mel Brooks is a freakin' genius and sometimes everything moves too slow and things never got off the ground. In deference to our many years of friendship, I have reconsidered my original thinking and taken Young Frankenstein off my list. In its place, I've put Silent Movie, which is much more appropriate.
Keep those comments coming! I can be convinced!
Alright, most of those are bad, and some of them are bad but I love them anyways... but Network?
Network is genius! Sure, lots of movies have been done that satirize television, capitalism, and the exploitive nature of the entertainment industry, but Network does it sharpest with brilliant performances and a script that is gold.
"Our children will live, Mr. Beale, to see that perfect world in which there's no war or famine, oppression or brutality - one vast and ecumenical holding company, for whom all men will work to serve a common profit, in which all men will hold a share of stock - all necessities provided, all anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused!!"
Network was slow, preachy, overly prosey and it made its rather weak points about media and capitalism in an unpersuasive way.
What the hell have you got against Galaxy Quest?
Parts of Galaxy Quest were funny - I particularly like the nameless redshirt who's terrified he's about to be rubbed out - but it's sloppy. The acting's generally lousy, and it's poorly made. I think it came home to me that it was a terrible movie when Tim Allen is being carried upside down by a monster and he's still talking like he's warm and snug in a recording studio.
Yeah, Galaxy Quest isn't unwatchable, but I'd say it's terrible. When you look at the list, most of these movies are a lot worse than Galaxy Quest, but most of them aren't unwatchable.
I dunno Tom, you'd have to convince me.
Still, Galaxy Quest had its moments. "When I figure out who wrote these mashers in to the script! They're totally unnecessary!"
Heh heh.
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