Me on T.V.

So I just got back from seeing a very rough cut of the movie I'm in that premieres this Sunday. In general, I feel taken down a peg, but, and I feel this is important to note, not taken down two pegs.

As long as I hadn't seen any footage of myself, I was just as good an actor as I imagined. Now I see myself as a little worse than I actually am.

So much for taking Hollywood by storm, but, then, maybe my natural talent was never enough.


I was talking with the professional actor who worked on our film, and I became persuaded that acting is a craft, just like learning to light a scene.

It also takes work - not just the running-up-and-down-stairs-in-heels-eighteen-times-in-a-row type work, but finding-actual-paying-jobs type work. This is the much more difficult than the heels work as there are a lot of people who want to act - not just the arrogant snoots like me who think there's nothing to it, but also the real actors, the talented actors, the ones who studied a craft.

With my dreams of instant stardom dashed, what remains? We talked about that, too, and we decided that the only sensible course is to do the job or the art you feel compelled to do.

Just putting that out there.

That said, everyone else involved thinks I did a pretty good job. I definitely camped up this film. And the fact that I thought my co-star did great and she thought I did great means that maybe actor ego has made me think I didn't do as well as I actually did.

Still, I'm limiting my most insistent invitations to the people who are going to be thrilled just to see me being ridiculous on screen - basically, the people who are going to like this film even more than I am.