Four Movies That Make Me Cry Like a Little Bitch

By way of introduction, let me just say there ought to be a Motherfucker Party for Oscar Night.


Casablanca

Specifically, the speech where Rick says "the lives of three people don't mean a hill of beans in this world."

If the play that depicts true love is Romeo and Juliet, the movie that depicts true love is Casablanca. (The t.v. show that depicts true love is Mad About You.)

Whenever I had a girlfriend who hadn't seen Casablanca, I made her watch it. I felt it was my responsibility as a man.


Porco Rosso

The speech where Porco describes a terrible battle in the last summer of the first world war always makes me cry like a little girl.

Porco is quietly passing Spirited Away as my favorite-ever Miazaki movie.


Dancer in the Dark

Starring Bjork.

Although I own the DVD of Dancer in the Dark, I have only been able to watch the movie in its entirety once. Now that I know how sad and powerful the film is, I can't bring myself to watch it at all.

Once I walked in on Apple about half way through Dancer, sat down and bawled my eyes out for the next hour.

By the way, Dancer in the Dark, Casablanca and Die Hard are the best movies ever made.


Royal Tenenbaums
Specifically, the scene where Margot walks out of a Green Line bus in slow motion and the Nico song plays. This is the moment when we first understand what it means for Richie to love Margot.

Gets me every time.