Sunday, December 31, 2006

The Five Most Obscure Things I Quote Regularly

"Well, it certainly sounds like something I'd do..."

Lord Julius in High Society (Cerebus the Aardvark volume 2), written by Dave Sim.

Lackey: Lord Julius! Lord Julius! The Theocrats have the grounds surrounded by heavy pike!
Lord Julius: We'll just have to send in our heavy pike, then...
Lackey: We can't Lord Julius
Lord Julius: And why not?
Lackey: You told me to sell them on the black market to finance your campaign.
Lord Julius: Oh! So now it's my fault, is it? ... Well, what about those two tall guys with the big spears who were walking in front of me when we got here?
Lackey: You told me to trade them for the silver and gold bathtub in the shape of a giant squid...
Lord Julius: Well, it certainly sounds like something I'd do...

"Take two, they're small."

The Butcher Boy (1997)

In this powerful, funny and disturbing film, our hero, Francie, is a portly and deeply troubled boy in 1950s Ireland.

After destroying his nemesis' home by spreading fecal matter on the walls and acting like a pig, he is sent to a Catholic-run "industrial school" for rehabilitation, but a perverted priest bribes him with candy, dresses him up as a schoolgirl, and is about to sexually abuse him when the two are discovered.

Hoping to keep the incident under wraps, the headmaster of the school calls Francie to his office to offer Francie's freedom for his silence. Just before the headmaster makes his offer, Francie asks for a candy from the headmaster's desk. "Take two," the man says. "They're small."

Francie takes the candy and joyfully repeats "Take two! They're small!"

Other Uses
I always end up saying this when I hand out hot bricks to other PAs on set.


State Sen. Clayton 'Clay' Davis (Isaih Whitlock) in The Wire

Clay Davis, the love-to-hate political con artist and unapologetic grafter, draws this word out to several several times its normal length in order to express disbelief.

"What am I looking for... pudding..."

Adam Sandler's character in Punch-Drunk Love.

In the only Adam Sandler movie where Sandler does not play the guy he plays in every other Adam Sandler movie, Sandler is pushing a grocery cart through a store with no apparent purpose when he says this. The quote is striking because of all the things Sandler's character may or should be looking for based on what we know of him so far, pudding is the most unlikely.

Other Uses
You know when you walk in to the living room and you can't remember why you went in there? Say this quietly to yourself, think about the simple ramifications, and whatever you've forgotten will come to you.

cc of the cheungle and I are bitterly divided on Punch-Drunk Love. I think it's both Sandler's and Paul Thomas Anderson's best movie. Cindy thinks, and I may be summarizing here, "Meh."

"Nothing to be done."

Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett.

Opening line.

May only be used when you have something in your shoe, stop, take off your shoe, turn it over, shake it, and nothing comes out. NO OTHER USES ARE ACCEPTABLE.


Jose said...

Shiiit seems to be more of a general Baltimore thing as many characters of that incredible show use it and that actor also uses it in 25th Hour.

ribble said...

I have been to Baltimore exactly once, so everything I know about the city comes from that show and the movies of John Waters, which I never really liked anyway.

I think the other characters use the expression to reference Sen. Clay Davis, if we are just talking about the mayoral campaign manager.

EEK said...

You're much classier than me. There are only three quotes that I can think of that I occasionally toss out.

1) "So I've got that going for me, which is nice." Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

2) "Acting!" (should be screamed while thrusting your arm up in the air) John Lovitz from an old Saturday Night Live skit.

3)"Dooooo it!" Homer Simpson from The Simpsons.

ribble said...

Bill Murray is the bomb. Caddyshack is the only movie in the history of the medium where an actor has successfully played a stupid smartass.

Then there's that scene with Chevy Chase...

Second, no one but no one yells out non sequiturs like John Lovitz. I am a member of the Facebook group "The Critic Was a Good Show." It is an important if understated position.

It is too bad The Simpsons sucks now, but cannot die. It's like Lestat towards the end of Interview with the Vampire.