Bumped Up at the Taj

It is strange to walk in to a room and realize that, at some point, someone has had sex on every flat surface there.

In a related matter: mirrored ceilings above beds make it very difficult to sit alone quietly and read a book (the light bounces all over the damn place.)

Okay

Okay, I was totally unprepared to miss my cat this much.

My cat is away for the night because the nice women at the clinic took out some of her lady-bits and she needs to recover and what not.

Why do I miss this cat so much? We only met a few weeks ago, maybe a month. I really had no idea this would happen. I am actually considering putting a scarf on a pillow and petting that to get it out of my system.

Sure, it's kind of cute - but like many cute things, it's also kind of pathetic.

I'm picking up my cat again tomorrow morning.

ribble's Kitty

Tonight, Speedrail, Liz and I checked out our friend Destrosound at Fat Baby and discussed cat names extensively. We believe we have discovered the three most offensive cat names of all time:

3. Darpurr
2. Catrina
1. Meowshwitz

Obscure Analogies in the Middle of the Night

I am wide awake in the middle of the night in a brand new house in New Hampshire. Sleeping in a brand new house reminds me of that scene in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where they steal the Heart of Gold and foam packaging flies out as they try to use the controls to make a getaway.

Level Tired

In college, when I had to finish a paper in a single sleepless night, I would tell Jibs, my girlfriend at the time, that I was a certain level of tired, like "Level 3 tired." These levels never made it past the contextual, which is to say I couldn't tell you now what each level meant to me then.

I didn't have much need for describing myself as a numbered level of tired after college because I was not working in finance, but tonight I was reminded of them because I found I was literally too tired to walk in a straight line in my own apartment.

The biggest luxury I can get is to turn off my phone before I go to sleep. Turning off my phone, which I also use as an alarm, means there is absolutely nothing urgent to do the next day.

Tonight I turned my phone off.
And I'm definitely sleeping in.

Irony Air

I've decided the secret to air travel is to pretend your travel experience is more convenient than everybody else's. This is surprisingly easy because so many people pretend their travel experience is more difficult than everyone else's.

You must play to this man's strengths. If you are carrying a laptop, remember that he is carrying a larger laptop. When disembarking a plane for a tight connection, remember as he shoves past you to retrieve his rolling suitcase from above your seat that this man has an even tighter connection. He will remind you of this by catching you in his gaze and rolling his eyes, trying to elicit a mutual disdain for the passengers in front of you and their lack of willingness to push past the passengers in front of them.

At all times, you must exhibit an attitude of unrushed detachment. Once on board - shoulders relaxed, seat leaned ever-so-slightly back, bags stowed, magazine or portable gaming device in hand, you will order a cocktail you reserve for such occasions and, once finished, order another. After all, for you, this flight is exactly where you'd always hoped to be.

Another Story From Mom's House

Mom's cat, Taco, is rolling around on his catnip pillow while Mom and I are having tea. After a good five minutes, he sprints past the table in to the guest room. I swear to god I heard him saying "gotta go buy a car."

Mom's House

Mom is still a spring chicken, but she's old enough that I sometimes wonder if she's going crazy, or I am, or if she's always been this way.

One day this weekend I opened a cabinet to get a glass and found a raw piece of meat and two raw pieces of fish, just sitting there.

This was one of those moments.

It turns out the meat and fish was just out to defrost, and Mom was keeping them in the cabinet so the cat wouldn't eat them.

A Cute Story About Sunkist

My friend Sunkist and I are eating in a diner. We've been hanging out together all evening and we are deeply involved in a discussion of long-term relationships. Sunkist glances at my shirt, the same shirt I've been wearing all night, and bursts out laughing. She can't stop laughing for the next five minutes.

Cute, right?

Amtrak rant

A round-trip express ticket from New York to Boston officially costs as much as a round-trip plane ticket from New York to San Antonio (direct flight, even). If Amtrak were in Europe, the Europeans using Amtrak would riot! Then they would eat some stinky cheese.