Casino Vay Kay

Okay let's play roll the dice /
At the casino they treat you nice
-Freezepop / Vacation

I like Atlantic City because there is always someone around to help you out. Where's the bathroom? Where's the poker table? Could you get me a drink? How do I get to the Marina? Is there anywhere to get something to eat this late? They would love to let you know.

You don't even really have to pay attention to who you're asking - a uniform is a uniform. I once accidentally asked a New Jersey State Gaming Commission officer where I could check if I'd earned any comps. He didn't know specifically, but he certainly made an effort to answer.

I should note that I am not a relentlessly over-privileged capitalist in the grand American tradition. I do not send food back in a restaurant. Whenever someone pours me a glass of water, I look at him and say Thank You. I am uncomfortable being too attended to as I tend to equivalate this to making a scene. I surprise cashiers by speaking Spanish. I am an unceasingly polite customer.

In the casinos, however, the math changes. I am essentially making everyone money simply by being there. In these circumstances, it is in everybody's interest to listen, smile politely, and explain calmly how I may be able to add my name to the poker tournament starting in half an hour.

I don't mind enjoying this consumer haven for a couple of nights. After all, I'm paying the rake same as everyone else.