Saturday, November 22, 2008

A Very Short History of Me and Woody Allen

So I started watching Everyone Says I Love You Thursday night in the belief that I haven't seen it before, but it turns out that I have. I think I actually saw it when it first came out, 1996, which would make me around 15.

There is really no way to explain how important Woody Allen is to Jews from New York who are not in New York except to say that if you are a Jew from New York who is not in New York, you know what I'm talking about, and if you know what I'm talking about and you're not a Jew from New York, then either Judaism, New York or both are probably in your future.

I was born in the Bronx and lived for five years in Scarsdale before moving with my family to San Antonio, Tx. at age five. Now, I am not one of those people who thinks that everything developmentally significant that can happen to you happens by age five. But I do know that for the next eight years, from five to 13, I was really pissed off that we had moved out of New York.

Thing is, I didn't actually know anything about New York. I mean - I was five when we left! And what's more, I wasn't from New York City, I was from Scarsdale - the suburbs!

However, and I've mentioned this before, New York is one of two places I'm going to say ever that you can come to some sort of understanding of just by watching T.V. and going to the movies.

Just like Mad About You can teach you about true love, Woody Allen can teach you about being a New York Jew.

I loved Woody Allen growing up. I wore glasses because Woody Allen wore glasses. I cheated on girlfriends because Woody Allen cheated on girlfriends. I even played Woody Allen in a Woody Allen play. And first thing when I got of college? Moved to Brooklyn.

Okay, here's my final proof: I am visiting our New York-branch-of-the-family cousins in London in 1998 when Deconstructing Harry comes out (I remember it was Deconstructing Harry because of the snappy music in the opening credits) . We go to a movie theater. Suddenly I realize: every ex-pat New Yorker living in London in 1998 is in this theater.

Don't believe me? Go to a sort of arty theater in London next year the weekend Whatever Works comes out. You'll see.

2 comments:

Boss Lady said...

1. I do not care for woody allen movies.
2. you are not a jew.
3. I am a jew.
4. I hear you are only a new yorker after you live here for 10 years. That puts me at 2013, where does it put you?
5. I am going to comment on all of your posts until joe lets me go to sleep.

ribble said...

I have only stopped being a Jew since I came to New York and ran in to people following the strict mother's vagina maternal-line definition (including you.) Trust me - in Texas, I'm Jewish.

I heard it takes six years to become a New Yorker but you can subtract a year for every mugging.

For the record, a lot of these New York Jews living in exile have plenty and well-founded objections to Woody Allen. It doesn't make Woody Allen any less a part of that identity.

Also, as a Jew living IN New York, you're kinda outside my data set.

Plus, again for the record, you enjoy Olson Twins movies.