Friday, September 01, 2006

True-Life Adventures of Ribble, Production Assistant

EXT. OPEN FIELD - DAY

A MAN is standing in the middle of a large, empty field in New Jersey wearing a realistic bear costume but holding the costume's head. It is a beautiful day. MUSIC PLAYS, but there is OTHERWISE COMPLETE SILENCE.

After a long moment, RIBBLE, 25, dressed shabbily in dirty pants and a T-shirt and wearing a walky with a hand mike, enters from screen left carrying a folding chair. He places the chair behind the man in the bear suit, who sits. Ribble sits next to him on the ground. They sit for a few minutes as if waiting for something, but not impatiently, and not speaking much.

After a few minutes, Ribble receives instructions over his walky. He and the bear stand, and he helps the bear put on his head. He throws the chair off screen right and stands next to the bear. They wait.

After a moment, more instructions come over the walky. The bear starts doing calisthenics - jumping jacks, knee bends, toe touches. Ribble walks off screen right.

After a moment, THE CAMERA PANS TO RIBBLE, revealing him sitting in the chair, watching the bear, and silently laughing his ass off.

You can't make this stuff up, folks. That was my day yesterday.

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