Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Boris is Back From the Hospital

Boris, my friend the sheep / Russian Spy, just got back from a stay at Albert Einstein Hospital in the Bronx. Boris had sneaked on to a small cargo plane Phibs (penguin / criminal mastermind) was flying out of Islip, but Phibs figured out Boris was aboard, grabbed a parachute and a few kilos of cocaine he'd hidden on board in a new car, set the plane on a crash course for a LIRR train, and jumped out.

Boris, really more of a ground guy, couldn't gain control of the plane, and just before the crash, he hid inside the car. Of course the airbags protected him, but then the car caught fire and Boris was caught inside a car engulfed in flames inside a crashed plane inside a train. Thankfully, Boris remembered the biggest threat to people in a fire is suffocation due to smoke, so he opened a window.

Then a secondary explosion from the plane knocked the train off the tracks and in to the East River, where unfortunately it hit a water taxi full of tourists, all of whom were instantly killed. Now Boris was inside a flaming car inside a plane inside a train on a sinking ship. Of course Boris remembered that he needed to equalize the pressure between the boat and the river he was sinking in to, so he cracked his other window.

The boat, the train, the plane and the car sunk down in to the East River, where unfortunately a submarine was pulling in for Fleet Week and ran straight in to them. After exchanging insurance information with the captain of the vessel, Boris swam to the surface. He found himself within a few blocks of a subway stop. and as he walked that direction, he fell and sprained his ankle.

The hospital let him out the next day. Now he's fine.

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